Sunday, June 29, 2008

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Went to Marina Square wif ZZO to celebrate Spen's bdae todae. Kiat n Kai Ling came back from Taiwan as well n after seein all those photos they hav taken.. Kinda really make me miss tat place all over again.


After tat, Went Vivocity to find Cpk. Dinner at Marche. Lol. Could still rmb the firz time tat i went there was wif Alvin, Kenneth and Andy wen we were only like sec 2.. Wen the outlet at Heerens didnt close dwn yet. The firz thin i thought to myself back thn was.. "Wtf the food here sibei chor arhz!" We were like keep blamin either Alvin or Kenneth 4 brinin us to go there eat coz it was damn ex n we didnt had much money. This time round, All grown up le.. Ok well, Not really grown ups but definitely much older n hav more money thn wen we were sec 2 =x Lol. The Marche at Vivo seemed smaller thn the one at Heerens though n didnt hav alot of food choices.

Friday, June 27, 2008

12 days to NS. I realize everythin does happen 4 a reason. I guess fate knows me too well n tats y no matter what i do.. I will always be at square 1. Coz fate probably noes tat i wont make it in NS or i will probably hav a mental breakdwn should anithin happens.

Nw tat i tink of it.. I am kinda of relieved. I noe i wont be able to take it n i will most likely go crazy or kill myself.

Dreams of bendan.. The past memories.. Thins tat hav happened between us keeps appearin in my head nwadays.. Whether im awake or asleep.

All these will be kept inside my heart.. Time may make her forget everythin, But even after many years.. I wont forget the once happiest period of my life :)

Mayb sumdae thins will change.
Mayb sumdae we will nt be contactin each other anymore.
Mayb sumdae she will finally realize tat he isnt the one 4 her.
Mayb sumdae we will be better.

Mayb................. Well no1 noes what can happen in e future.

I guess i hav seen n understand euu more thn any1 else does coz of everythin tat has happened b4.. N no1 will treat euu like i do.

Euu may change, He may change, Ur frens may change.. Sure i may change.. But this part of me won change.. In e end no matter what happens.. As long as euu need me, I will still be there 4 euu as always.. Be it nw, Or years later.. For whatever reasons.. I will be there. I guess tats juz the person i am.. N tats hw important euu are to me no matter what euu do.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mj todae wif bendan.. Kai Xin n their fren Chee Wei 4 awhile. Wanted to jio bendan out but she seemed busy so decided to better nt ask..... Kai Xin suddenly say she can mj again n so we decided to play last min. Wasnt really in the mood though wen playin n nt really concentratin.. Whole game win 1 time of 1 tai only.. -.-"" I noe i dun hav much time left.. So i should treasure the times wen i can actually see her or meet up wif her.. But thn well i juz get affected too easily by thins =/

I am just a nobody afterall.

Should i smile because we are "frens"..? Or should i cry because thats probably all we will ever be..?

16 more days to NS.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Day 10. Last day. I should feel happy but fact is i dun. 20 days to NS.. Tats like even less thn 3 weeks of time left 4 me. I wish i could see her, hear her voice every single day 4 this 20 days.. But i cant. Having lotsa trouble slpin recently.. Fuk. Usually i can slp till theres no tml.. But nwadays i juz cant get to slp at nite.. Haiz :(

Dota-ed the whole day wen Fam jio-ed to go play bball. Been a long time since i last played.. Lol. Sure brins back memories from secondary sch days...

Went hm n bathed b4 meetin up wif Alvin, Yingwen, Andy n Kok Yan to go Anchor Point to eat at Xin Wang. Slacked at there 4 awhile b4 headin back hm.


I will nv understand y is it tat fate allowed us to meet n noe each other.. But juz nt be together..

Im juz so so sooo tired mentally nw......



Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dallas Chicken Buffet todae wif ZZO at Chinatown. Saw it bein recommended on the forums n so we decided to check it out since sum of us were havin the sudden cravin 4 fried chicken. Guan finally booked out as well after the 2 wks confinement. N fuk tat reminds me again.. Everywhere i go.. I juz cant help tinkin bout hw thins will turn out between bendan n me after i go in..... Haiz damn this fukin sux.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Went city area to celebrate Reu's bdae todae wif ZZO. All damn giv face.. Wear shirt.. Dress nice nice.. Comb hair nice nice go. Lol. Went early wif Tze firz to Max Brenner coz he was goin to pass Yu Ling sumthin.. After tat we went Suntec Mac as usual. Busy day as always.. Saw bendan but she was kinda busy so bought a double choc n we left.

Walked around Marina Square 4 awhile b4 we meet the rest of ZZO outside KBox. Decided to go Jack's Place to eat.




After tat.. We were tinkin of where to go 4 our dessert. After walkin around.. Decided to go Swenson to eat ice cream. Shannon came over as well 4 awhile but he had to leave early to return to camp. Awws.. NS ~~~~~ Fuk.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Woke up at 7 A.M todae n amazingly i nv fall back to slp. Lol. Been like soo long since i last saw the morleng crowd.. Traffic was -.-|| Went bukit batok to eat dim sum breakfast wif Tze, Fam, JJ n Reu. Didnt really eat alot coz there doesnt seem to be much choices. Wonder whether i can still go eat dim sum wif bendan b4 goin in NS =/

Walked back to West Mall n we went to watch the morleng show of The Incredible Hulk. Firz time ever watchin such an early timeslot movie ? Lol. Pretty nice show. Animation n visual effects was WOW. Back in poly, Juz doin a simple animation.. Modellin the characters can alrdy take us dun noe hw long.. Wonder if i can ever do an animation or model a character of such standards.. Lol. Went hm after tat as all of us were shagged to the max.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Day 1. The many more days to cum..... N after im in NS.. the many months.. mayb even the yrs. Lol pathetic.



Thursday, June 12, 2008

Juz recently.. 2 NS guys hav died. Lol. Wen i firz heard the news bout the 1st guy n saw his frenster.. Didnt really tink much. But wen i came to noe bout the 2nd NS guy's death.. After viewin his frenster.. Felt kinda sad. The firz thin tat gt into my mind was.. Why are the ppl who deserve to die, still alive.. But those tat doesnt seem to deserve to die all died =/ It makes me wonder even more if anythin should happen to me wen its my time to go army.

Emo tok wif James on msn. Lol. He wanted to write a last will.. Thins tat he wan to tell his family.. his frens.. Person he luv.. if anithin should happen to him. Didnt tink theres much thins to tell 4 me though.. Im like alrdy prepared 4 death.. I guess theres juz too many thins tat i wan to say.. N sumthins i juz cant put into words.. Which was y i nv thought of writin such thins.

Theres so many ppl i wan to really thank.. But i dun really like sayin thank u.. Or sorry.. N i dun like to hear ppl sayin it to me as well. Ever since readin HunterXHunter.. I hav felt this way.

Classic phrase "朋友之间本来就应该要互相帮助.. 如果为了这种理所当然的事道谢.. 不是很难看没意义吗？"

But if anithin should happen.. Theres really so much thins tat i wan to tell my frens.. Juz a thank u is like won be enough.. But its the 1 thin tat i can only say.. Theres also bendan who i cant let go off..

Cpk.. Alvin, Yingwen, Kenneth, Mother May, Andy. They really stood by me wen i was at the lowest point of my life.. Wen my heart was like totally in pieces.. I really wan to tell them.. Thanks alot alot.

ZZO.. Tze.. Fam.. Dom.. Jin Jie.. Spencer.. Reu.. Wei Cheng.. Shannon.. Guan.. Poks.. Ching Hui.. Frens tat im really lucky to hav known.. Much fun n laughter.. Dotain.. Tokin cork online.. Many thanks as well.

James.. Bro since primary sch.

Vanei.. Who kinda supported me all e way.. Offerin me advices regardin all those luv questions n problems..

Miao who recently always disappears.. But those online tokin cork.. disturbin was fun. Lol.

Qiu Hui.. Motivation 4 poly..

Thanks thanks n thanks.

Most importantly.. Bendan. Words wont be able to describe hw i feel.. I guess if i should write a last letter.. It will juz be a simple one 4 her.. In simple words.. Short but i guess it will be enough.. If nt i will probably need to write a loonngg passage again like my luv letter last time..

Life is long.. yet so short. Haiz. Day 2.



Friday, June 13, 2008

Went Suntec todae wif ZZO. Wanted to go the PC Show to take a look.. From meet 3.30.. Becum meet 4. Furthur waitin until 4.30.. End up reach Suntec at 5+ -.-|| Went to settle our stomachs at KFC. Wanted to go visit bendan at Mac.. But well didnt feel nice to let the rest of them wait.. So we went to the PC Show firz. Went off firz after walkin ard 4 awhile.. Kinda couldnt get over to nt go Mac to actually see her... So i went back Mac.. Saw her but she was in a hurry to go POSB. Lol. No doubt sibei nice timin =/

Took the train back to Lakeside n thn took a cab to Taman Jurong Party World to accompany Qiu Hui to train 4 her singin test. Her singin is zai. Lol. Sang until 12+ n we went hm.

Miss singin wif bendan... Wonder wen will be the nxt time we mj n sing tgt again.. Lol.

Sianz. If i knew he didnt go Suntec todae.. Probably could hav waited 4 bendan to knock off.. mayb walk n shop ard.. =/ Yet again sibei nice timin.

他就是他. Whatever he does.. Whether its a small or big thin.. Good or bad thin.. It juz feels different in her eyes. I guess im juz nt as 伟大 as i thought i could be. "As long as she is happy.. Im happy." True.. Im happy tat shes happy.. But i juz cant get the jealous.. hate feelin out of my fukin head. I can do a million thins 4 her.. wif her.. But in the end, it wouldnt match up to a single thin he does 4 her.. wif her. I mean i should feel happy enough wif the way thins r nw between her n me.. But i juz dont.. No matter hw much i lie to myself.. Sumwhere inside my heart i wish thins can be even better between her n me.

Day 3.



Saturday, June 14, 2008

Went PC show yet again.. This time wif James. Finally really took a walk ard the entire show. This time round doesnt seem bery happenin though. Seems like the show is smaller thn the last IT Fair.

Went to Mac again to see bendan.. This time theres even more ppl there.. Kinda heart pain to see her workin so xin ku. Barely tok to her n i hav to go off since theres alot of customers =/

Walked ard Suntec.. Was kinda tired so we went TCC to rest 4 awhile b4 goin hm.


Was gonna watch Kungfu Panda wif Grace, Ying Ling, Xiao Mei n Jonathon.. Kinda lazy to go back hm n thn go JP again.. So went over to James hse firz to play PS2. DragonballZ is damn high lahz.. Lol. Damn i thought i gt gamin talent.. But dun noe y always lose.. Juz wen i finally found a damn nice character to use.. Grace called us to go Wen Jun's hse to get our movie tickets. She was like so kan jiong.. Like rushin to go giv birth liddat o.o Cabbed over to Wen Jun's place to get our tickets n we walked back to Pioneer Mall to meet Jonathon b4 goin back JP.

Pretty nice show.. Quite funny as well. Wan to jio bendan to watch one.. But she was goin to watch wif her mac colleagues.. Awws.


After tat.. Went Bukit Timah to eat prata since we were kinda hungry. Slacked n tok cork sing song 4 awhile n we went hm. Awws.. I wan to get my license arhz !! Lol.

Kai Xin said tat im like so gd.. Everytime can go enjoy. Lol. But m i ? I wonder. The only times wen im really enjoyin to the fullest.. Tat i dun hav to tink of any other thins.. Tat i can say tat those r the days.. The moments tat im happiest wif my life.. Are the times spent wif her =/

Day 4. N I so miss her smile.. her voice.. her everythin =/

After goin 1 big round.. It appears tat im still stuck at the same startin point.....

Haiz....

I guess i can never luv another person.. As much as i luv euu.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Singin session wif ZZO todae at our usual Cashstudio place.. Lol. This time round is like the most number of ppl turnin up ? Besides usual Tze, Fam, Grace n me.. Kai Ling n Kiat turned up.. Poks n Ching Hui came as well. Met at 1+ n we headed to twn.

Usually we will reach there bout 2+ n sing until like 10+ or until they start chasin us out.. But sadly todae like gt alot of ppl cumin to sing.. Sing until 7+ muz go le :( Went to taka 4 our dinner.. Slacked n chilled awhile b4 headin hm. Kiat jio-ed MJ on the way so went 4 mj session at his hse.. Which was a MISTAKE. Lost like $43 -.-|| Really is suay until lao sai ~ Lol. But well Kai Ling also suay tgt wif me.. She lost like $40 as well.

Why wen i gamble.. Most of the times is suay one =/

Haiz. Miss mj-in n kboxin wif bendan..



Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Went to watch The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian wif ZZO todae. Didnt watch the 1st Narnia but well i could still understand the story. Sum parts r quite nice.. But the endin was kinda too rush i tink ? Lol. Juz 1 lion alone can determine who wins n who loses the battle. N the treants r... Damn imba lahz. I wonder y its always the trees who becums the winnin factor for this kinda movies. Lord Of The Rings was kinda the same as well.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Went out wif bendan todae 4 shoppin at twn. Met her at Commonwealth MRT station b4 we headed to Orchard.. She was really slow like turtle.. =x Haha. Wanted to go earlier one but she was like a pig sleep until too late le.. By the time we reach twn 4+ alrdy.. Lol.

We were kinda hungry so we went to eat mac firz. Damn no life.. She everydae work mac can eat mac.. Nw her off day still wan to eat mac.. Hahaha. Ordered a Quadruple cheese burger 4 myself coz she wanted to c hw it looks like n a Chicken Foldover 4 her.


After our lunch/dinner, Went to Far East to shop 4 bendan's clothes.. Wanted to find the neoprint shop there but we couldnt seem to find it.. Sadded :( Damn Vanei still scam me say at basement.. Lol. Walked around but didnt see anythin she like.. So we headed to Taka. Stopped at GAP n she brought a red t-shirt there. Damn attitude.. ask her to go try out n let me see.. But she go in try le die die dun wan cum out let me see n giv comments. Walked ard Wisma 4 awhile tryin to find a skirt design tat she likes.. But nth seems to catch her eye.. Lol. Finally gav up tryin to find her skirt n we went to Cine.

Decided to watch the movie Chocolate since its still showin in theatres n we said to go watch it tgt sum time ago. Nth but respects 4 all the behind the scenes crews of this movie. The actions r all so high risk n i cant imagine hw sum of the stunts were actually possible without doin any safety precaution. Power..

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Went 4 my 3rd drivin lesson todae.. Drove more on the main road nw. Feelin was shioook. Although i stall engine sibei alot of times until Uncle Tiger keep kp me.. But well im improvin.. I guess ? Lol. Nxt time gt chance.. Whether overseas or in SG.. Im gonna be Takumi ~ Wanna do a real drifitin at least once in my life.

After drivin.. Went Suntec to see hw bendan was doin. She juz kinda recovered after bein sick 4 like almost a week.. So was worried hw she will be like at work. Dun really noe what kind of food she could eat.. So juz bought a caesar salad 4 her on the way.. Wanted to buy her sum bread from Delifrance but the outlet at Funan didnt hav much choices.. =/ Surprised tat her frens actually still recognize me even though i didnt go there 4 so long =o Didnt wan to bother her at firz.. But thn her fren.. Vivian i tink.. Went to call her from the manager meetin -.-||

But well thnx to her fren i could tok to her 4 awhile. Hahaha. She looks so much better nw.. Relieved :)

Waited 4 bendan to knock off b4 takin cab over to twn to celebrate Dom's birthday wif ZZO at Sakura. She left after wishin him happy bdae though coz she couldnt eat any of the food yet. So i pei her walk to the bus stop.. Challenged her to a scissor paper stone game on the way which if i won she will go back to Sakura wif me. But wtf i was owned deep deep -.-|| Wth the last time i rmb.. She keep losin to me one lehz thn i can keep hittin her on the face de.... Thn again if she stayed i tink will be torturin her also coz the food will be so temptin 4 her.. Was juz kinda sad tat i couldnt send her hm.. =x Lol. Heng her hse was quite close to twn if nt really kinda guilty tat she went to Sakura wif me.

After dinner.. Went cine to slack 4 awhile b4 headin hm.

Nxt month she will be convertin to part time workin at mac le.. Hopefully the chances of me meetin her will be higher by abit more even though he POP le..........

Haiz 36 more days to NS...... Sianz. =/

Me