Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Last post before going army.



Yingwen shall be exclusively kept inside my com n hp. Haha =x

And so i slept through my last day just like that. She didn't meet me.. Even until the end. What can i say ?

Disappointment. Sad. Fucked up.

Yeas i am damn understanding :)

And so, The final day has come.

After saying so much, Euu knew exactly how much i wanted to see euu for my last day.. Yet in the end euu couldn't meet me even for a short while. Say sorry when euu mean it.. And not for the sake of saying. I never thought i would mean this little to euu.. Now i kinda realize it.

Still.. That being said,

So many things on my mind, And most of them are still euu. How euu will be doing, Whether euu will still always fall sick, Anyone bullying euu or treating euu unwell, Where euu will go when euu are bored, Hows your job finding coming along, Whether euu are still smoking as much, Who euu will turn to when euu have problems, Whether euu will be cheated.. Yeas, And i can still go on with a list.

Memories of the past..

And its been 10 months since we knew each other since that day, September 9 2007. So many drama things has happened.. Things that we may never experience again.. Situations that hopefully will and will not happen in the future..

All the days of ordering Double Chocolate without fail.. Late MSN chats until morning.. Webcam sessions.. Phone calls until euu really start getting sleepy and is about to sleep.. Calls to disturb and wake each other up.. Morning calls to wake euu up to go to work or me to go to school.. SMS-es every single day.. We never had a secret back then and will tell each other practically everything.. Do euu still remember ?

Really regretted that i should have taken more pictures of us.. What we do.. Where we go.. Just for memory sake but i didn't...




Euu coming to my house.. Playing of games.. Slapping each other for fun.. Poking and tickling each other.. Hitting our ears.. Disturbing each other..



The times that i would bring euu to the carpark.. Telling each other things.. Just sitting down there and wait for time to pass.. Exchanging of phones.. Going to drink with euu.. Going to Snow City for the first time..


The love letter i wrote for euu.. Well didn't actually want to show euu but since euu saw it at my house.... My new year resolution.. Going to meet euu on New Year Countdown but end up having to help Kai Li cause she was like drunk..


Your birthday song i recorded at KTV.. First time go chalet together.. And the first time that i see euu play MJ and euu won a full tai which like shocked all of us.. Lol.




The heart i did for euu while at Taiwan..


Our first ever KBox session together..



The first and last time i went out with euu for the whole day.. Only just the 2 of us. If i had known that that day was gonna be our last...... Haiz. Or was it because euu knew and thats why euu were like so nice that day and agree to whatever i say ? =/



Wanted so much for the last time euu to go out with me.. Just like that day.. Just me and euu.. With the whole day to ourselves.. With no one else. Mickey Mouse Restaurant.. Bugis to pray.. Shopping and walking around.. Neoprints.. Singapore Flyer.. Equinox Restaurant.. Vivo Gold Class movie.. Mac Breakfast. Seems kinda packed but overall perfect plan i should say ? Just needed a yes or okz from euu. But in the end the day never came. Well, I have already learnt not to expect anything from euu.. But still, Somehow it hurts.. Alot. Afterall its probably our last time to go out together.. Just the 2 of us.. But it didn't mean anything to euu in the end and there probably won't be another chance. So much for saying about a last time going out together before i go NS last time. Lol. Well as always, not like i have the right to ask anything from euu.

Euu know, Euu really changed my life. I have never felt this way about someone.. And i don't think i ever will again. If it isn't euu being with me.. Many things just don't matter anymore.. Many things i just don't want to bother to do or care again.. I just never want to put all my feelings and give my whole heart to anyone else again. Alot of my thinkings have changed.. And i have really grown and learn about many things after knowing euu.

So i guess its really goodbye now for the both of us ? No more calls to see what each other is doing.. Talking about anything on the phone.. MSN chats.. Going out together.. MJ-ing.. Kbox-ing.. Well not of course if euu and that Norris break, Which, To tell euu the truth, Its something i really wish will happen.. Every single day. But then again i don't want euu to be sad..... Yeas i am kinda contradicting myself but its just a mixture of feelings..

Can euu promise me that euu will really take care of yourself and not always fall sick or hurt yourself ?
Can euu promise me that euu will try to smoke less if possible ?

1 Year 10 Months in army. Many things can happen. Will euu forget me by then ? And during it.. Will and can we contact each other ? If so.. How can and will we contact with one another unless euu and that Norris are not together anymore ? How can we be the bestest of friends like euu said when we can't even contact each other freely as we want cause of him ?

Kelly Low May Chiew, 笨蛋, I love euu, I really do.

But now.. I guess i have no choice but to say, I need to give up already. Its really time to move on.. To forget my feelings for euu, For real. There's a big difference in your heart moving on, and your mind telling it to, And this time, I am going to let my heart move on itself. I know a part of me never will.. But at least i won't be as hurt or in as much pain anymore.

Everything about euu.. I can only leave it all to fate now.

And just so euu know.. Euu have already occupied a space in my heart no one can replace.

Goodbye.

Stupid idiot 笨蛋 白痴. *push your head.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Monday, July 7, 2008

Went for my 8th or 9th drivin lesson todae. It was omg -.-|| Really is lower my confidence by like 80%. Fuk man still dun understand y i pull up the handbrake my legs will let go of the clutch =/ Tio scold like siao. Lol.

Went Cine to watch Hancock wif ZZO after tat. Pretty nice show.. Only thin bout the show tat i kinda dun understand was hw both Hancock n Mary could juz move on n let go of each other n eveyrthin like so easily. Well it isnt a luv show but still.. =/


Chevron singin after tat wif Cpk.. The last time i gonna see them wif my hair i guess. Lol.

Monday, July 7, 2008

I am really hopeless. Fuk. N i wonder y im like this.

Lotsa MJ sessions recently. Keep lose. I guess play MJ also muz play wif good mood if nt sure lose money -.-""

So much 4 a last time meetin or goin out tgt. Lol.

Haiz.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Last chalet wif ZZO todae. Didnt wan to go at firz coz was feelin kinda moody.. But well in e end since there wasnt anythin 4 me to do n it was the last chalet we will be havin.. Decided to go again. Reached there like 9+.. Juz in time 4 the BBQ. The moment i gt there i was like shocked. Alrite, Nw Tze is like FINALLY attached. Lol. Well i am glad 4 him.. It was about time.. Juz tat it seemed kinda sudden to see him n Yu Ling tgt. N nw our pure hollow group is left wif Reu, WC n me. Roars. Fuk wan to take couple pictures of them but all wanna act shy.


After tat.. Went to buy liquor n beer 4 the firz time ever 4 our chalets. Lol. Usually it will be juz me n a few others buyin our own n drinkin.. But this time all damn enthu. Lol. Juz wanted to get myself drunk.. Didnt wan to tink bout anithin anymore.. N i wanted to c hw it was like. Nt sure if i did though.. Firz time drank so much.. =/ But fuk they keep dun wan let me drink lahz ! Lol. All like so enthu wan drink. Aftertat I could only rmb i said alot of crazy thins n i kinda couldnt control my tears =/ I tink i called up Qiu also.. N told her sum crazy stuffs -.-|| Juz kinda lost control of myself.. N hope she dun mind. N i swear its will be the firz n last time i gonna cry liddat. Was kinda xia suay but.. It feels alot better nw.. After pourin out all my emotions n feelins kept inside. :)

Aftermath though.. My head was damn pain lahz.. Really abit canot walk properly.. N my eyes were like swollen -.-|| But Ching Hui jioed us 4 MJ so since she rarely has off days to play.. Decided to go n play at Kiat's hse. Played the whole day n im kinda surprised i was still alive at the end of it.. My head was like killin me. Lol. Lost $35 in e end =/ So much 4 "情场失意赌场得意".. Fuk damn scam lahz ! I dun hav her wif me.. N yet i gamble dua bai lose one lehz ! Nbcb ! Went hm after tat n i immediately fell asleep.

N its been like soooo long since we last tok tat way.

Me